What actually happened to me.....

So I took my motorcycle out for what I thought was just another ride—and accidentally auditioned for Final Destination: Road Rash Edition. I broke both shoulders, snapped my arm, turned my femur into a jigsaw puzzle, got a lung that said ‘nah I’m out,’ and let my brain do a Jackson Pollock on my skull with multiple bleeds. Oh—and just to really sell the drama—I went ahead and died for a bit thanks to cardiac arrest. A stranger literally brought me back, because apparently I don’t know how to quit even when my heart does. My knee got degloved too, which is medical talk for ‘skin said bye.’ All in all, 0/10 would not recommend, but I did get to say I came back from the dead like a badass.